A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young
woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him,
"Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian."
The three finalists in the Women's Olympic swim meet were all novices
to international competition. However, all had excelled during the
early going, and after several heats the score was tied; the first
match employing the breast stroke would decide the winner.
The gun
sounded, and the three young women dove into the water. Nancy
finished first, crossing the pool in five seconds flat; Jean finished
less than half a second later. Bringing up the rear was Mary, a blonde,
who finished a full ten seconds after the others.
As she completed the
lap and climbed from the pool, she sputtered, "I protest! The other
women were using their arms!"
There were two blondes walking down the street and they spotted a compact.
They rushed over to see who it belonged to so they could return it. The first one opens it and says, "This person looks familiar." The second one
says, "Let me see." She looks at her friend and says, "Silly, that's me!"
A brunette goes to see her doctor:
"Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with me but I hurt all over."
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a
redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the
mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced,
"I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles,
and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and
she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if
she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland
than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The
redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam
out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was
too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it!
I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles,
ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore
was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So
she swam back.
The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, "So which part of
Lesbia are you from ?"
"What do you mean?" said the Doc.
"Well, if I touch my shoulder here, it hurts, and if I touch my leg
here, it hurts, and if I touch my head here, it hurts, and if I touch
my foot here, it hurts."
"Tell me," said the Doctor, "Do you dye your hair?"
"Yes," she said "I'm really a blonde."
"I thought as much, you've broken your finger."