1. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
   A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
   A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
   A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke.
   A4: You don't eat your bowling ball
2. Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
   A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
3. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
   A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
4. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
   A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
5. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
   A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
6. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
   A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
7. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
   A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.
8. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
   A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it
   won't follow you around for a week.
9. Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
   A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
10. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
    A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
11. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
    A: They're both empty from the neck up.
12. Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
    A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
13. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
    A: So she could lip read.
14. Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
    A: They both have black roots.
15. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?
    A: Sweet Fuck All...
16. Q: How do you drown a blonde?
    A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
    A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
    A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
17. Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
    A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
18. Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
    A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
19. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
    A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
    A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
    A3: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
20. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
    A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
21. Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date?
    A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
22. Q: What's the blonde's cheer?
    A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
23. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
    A: Change.
24. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
    A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
25. Q: Why do blondes find it difficult to marry?
    A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex!
26. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
    A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
27. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
    A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
28. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
    A: She threw it off a cliff.
29. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
    A: She drowns it.
30. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
    A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
31. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
    A: "Nice tits!"
32. Q: How does a blonde high-5?
    A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
33. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
    A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
34. Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
    A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
35. Q: Why do blondes have legs?
    A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
    A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
    A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
36. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
    A: It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a television.
37. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
    A1: The blonde!
    A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
38. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
    A: Flattered.
39. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
    A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
40. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"?
    A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."
41. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
    A: Frosted Flakes.
42. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
    A: Frosted Flakes.
43. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
    A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
44. Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
    A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
45. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
    A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
46. Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
    A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
    A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
47. Q: Why don't blondes breast feed?
    A: Because they always burn their nipples.
48. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
    A: She kept having affairs with men!
49. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
    A: To cover up the valve stem.
50. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
    A: Spot.
51. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
    A: A Space Invader.
52. Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
    A: Air Supply.
53. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
    A: The back of her head.
54. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
    A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
55. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
    A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
56. Q: Why did God create blondes?
    A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
    Q: Why did God create brunettes?
    A: Neither could the blondes.
57. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
    A: Branch Manager.
58. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
    A: She fell out of the tree.
59. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
    A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
    A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.
60. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
    A: A blonde electrician.
61. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
    A1: So brunettes can remember them.
    A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
    A3: So men can understand them.
62. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde?
    A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!
63. Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
    A1: A golden retriever.
    A2: A labrador.
    A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.
64. Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
    A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
65. Q: Why do blondes have periods?
    A: They deserve them.
66. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
    A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
67. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
    A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
68. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
    A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?
69. Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
    A: She liked to be filled with cream.
70. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
    A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
71. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?
    A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
72. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
    A: By the ears.
73. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
    A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
74. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
    A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.
75. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
    A: Proofreading.
76. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
    A: For throwing out the W's.
77. Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
    A: She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
78. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
    A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
79. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
    A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
80. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
    A: One's a bunch a cunning runts.
81. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?
    A: One's a busy ditch.
82. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
    A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
83. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
    A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a
    blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
84. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
    A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
85. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
    A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
86. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
    A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
87. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
    A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
    The nympho says, "Are you done already?"
    The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
88. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
    A: Tell her she's pregnant.
    Q: What will she ask you?
    A: "Is it mine?"
89. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
    A: An air bag.
90. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
    A: Cause she blows the horn!
91. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
    A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
92. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
    A: To turn the blinker off.
93. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
    A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
94. Q: What is happening when you hear varoom...screech, varoom...screech varoom...screech.....?
    A: A blonde trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing red light.
95. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
    A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
96. Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death
    in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
    A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
97. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
    A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
98. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?ë A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
99. Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
    A: She can't say "No".
100. Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
     A: Retardo.
101. Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
     A: A visitor.
102. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
     A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
103. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
     A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
104. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
     A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
105. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
     A: Perri-air.
106. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
     A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
107. Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
     A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
108. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
     A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
109. Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
     A: The Air Pump!
110. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
     A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
     A2: I don't know.
     R: Neither did she.
111. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
     A: She missed.

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