Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God to Man: "So you would love her."
"But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God replies: "So she would love you."
Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women complain about
their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation
MENopause
MENtal breakdown
GUYnecology
HIMmorrhoids
What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Why do men like BMWs?
They can spell it.
What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.