To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and
observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and
couldn't drive...
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It
only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was damned near
impossible.
A man complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a
beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman ... then ... pow!
it was all gone!"
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha,
pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!"
Martha responds excitedly, "Shall I pack for warm weather or
cold?!" The man responds, "I don't care ... just so long as
you're out of the house by noon!"
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street bald and still think they are beautiful.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to
interrupt her.
A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose,
would you go to lunch or to a movie?
Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small
traces of female hormones.
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"Ahhhh ... my wife found out ..."
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the
hallway light on.
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the
couch.